Thursday, March 15, 2018

Beware the Ides of March

For the past 7 years, I have felt like Julius Caesar and I have something in common. Its the day we were both betrayed. Caesar by fellow Romans. Me by my own body. If you have followed my blog for any length of time you know I suffer from Fibromyalgia and an autoimmune known as CREST Syndrome. In the days leading up to this anniversary, I have thought about the past 7 years a lot. Especially in the context of the past year.

I've been doing better. Over the past 15 months I've lost 51 pounds. This has allowed me to move more with less pain. I'm glad I had already started to lose weight when my husband decided to walk out on me. I could not have handled working the jobs I have worked with the pain I had been in. I worked weekends last fall at a Rein Faire. They were long hard days, but I was blessed by working for my friend and fellow Spoonie Ruby. We watched out for each other and made sure not to use up to many spoons each day at take lots of rest breaks. I spent three months working for Target stocking shelves. There were so many days I came home from Target rung out. In January I started to work for my towns Parks and Rec department, where I am also on my feet most of the time. All the while I continued to look for an office job.

I stated to a close friend in January I knew my technical skills were a little out dated, which I felt was keeping me from finding full time work in an office setting. I just didn't know how to go about getting them updated without paying to go back to school. In my current financial situation, that was just not an option. A few weeks after making that statement the opportunity I had been looking for presented itself. A 12 week training program in Application Support Management with job placement help for every successful graduate. Just what I needed!! I went through the multi-interview multi test process and ended up being one of 22 selected (over 90 applied).

Upon finding out I was accepted I felt two things at once. Overjoyed to finally get a professional break and terrified. The training program would be in downtown Dallas Monday - Friday 9-5. So not only would I need my employers to work with my new schedule (Target declined to) but I would need to the spoons to take on this additional task. There were so many days after working at Target and the Rec Center I barely had the spoons to feed myself. How the heck was I going to pull this off for 12 weeks?

My parents have been incredibly supportive through the divorce. In talking to my mom about my new undertaking she expressed concern for me and my health about doing the training program and working my jobs. Thanks to Target not working with me (after telling me we'd talk about it for a week and a half) I only had one job to worry about. Of course this spawned another concern, paying the bills, as I had barely been getting by. Once again my parents are being amazing and are helping me bridge the gap.

So dear reader why am I telling you this? As you know I do tend to make points. Mine is this. For years after getting sick I never thought I'd ever get close to leading a normal life. That I'd never work physical jobs again. Or work full time. I have been in my training program for almost two weeks now. I'm doing it and I'm not just getting by. I'm doing well and keeping up with the homework. I'm doing things again I never thought I would do.

So on this historic day of betrayal I want to send out a message of encouragement. I don't know what is going on in your life, but have hope it will get better. It might not be soon. I had to wait 6 years for mine. Don't give up. You never know what amazing thing might be around the corner. And if your a fellow spoonie - I'd love to connect with you.

Until Next Time

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