Another Life Lesson

Do you ever have one of those days where you learn something about yourself?  Where something happens and you have an epiphany?  I had one of those days today.  You would think by now I would know myself pretty well.  It is said you learn something new every day.  Today the light bulb came on about me.

I am FANTASTIC at starting projects.  I see something, think it's a great idea and start on it.  What I learned today is I might not be the best at finishing projects.  The following is a tale of how I learned this fact...

My day started innocently enough.  I had plans to meet a local Twitter pal (who is a friend of a friend) and go to a specialty yarn store.  I held myself in check and only bought a few skeins of yarn (I was actually proud of myself).  When I got home, I was so excited to try out my new yarn.  It had been a few months since I had knitted (I also crochet, which is what I have been doing as of late), so I first had to locate the appropriate sized needles.  That should be easy, RIGHT?

Hardy har har.  First of all, I am the poster child for disorganization.  I had knitting needles stored in four different areas of the house.  Secondly, I do not lack knitting needles (or crochet hooks); I have every size known to man and I typically have between two and four in each size.  I was looking for either size 11 or 13.  It turns out I have six sets of needles in those sizes (that I found).  It also turns out there was a partially done project on each one.  When you are knitting, you leave the needle in the project until you finish it, otherwise all of the stitches will collapse and all of your hard work will disappear as the project unravels.

At this discovery, I had two choices. I could either go to Hobby Lobby and purchase more needles (which actually crossed my mind) or finish the projects I had started.  I would like to say I chose the finish projects option because that is the logical thing to do.  The real reason I went with option two is because it was 106 degrees in Dallas today and I could not bear the thought of going back outside.

As a gazed at six partially done knitting projects, I realized I have a problem. One of the projects is at LEAST six years old.  Who leaves a project laying around for six years partially done?  I resolved to do two things this afternoon:  One - make a single place to put all of my crochet hooks and knitting needles when not in use (an antique sewing cabinet would be nice) and two - to work at being better about finishing projects that I start.

Hopefully with my second resolution in place, I won't have any more projects sitting around for six years...

Until Tomorrow - Melissa

Crossroad

Do you ever feel like your life is at a crossroads?  You are standing in the middle of the intersection, but there are no signs to tell you which way to turn?  I've encountered this throughout my life and I feel like I am there again.  While I am not a fan of GPS devices (I have been known to have pretty good arguments with my Garmin), I do wish life came with one.

After I lost my job last November due to my health issues, I decided to focus on doing my jewelry 100% of the time (instead of as a side business).  Did I expect to become the next "it" jeweler to Hollywood stars and the uber rich overnight? No (but don't get me wrong, I would take it).  I know that running a small business takes time to build and that it would be a lot of hard work and it would be lean for awhile.  I am not afraid of hard work and I'm not afraid of making sacrifices.

What I didn't fully understand was how nice having a regular paycheck really REALLY was.  While I love being my own boss (okay, kind of, we all know the Feline Union runs this joint) I find there are months where I really hate the paycheck.  I have also found I miss having coworkers.  I have found virtual coworkers through Twitter and Etsy, but it's just not the same.

Now that I have a diagnosis and a management plan in place (and thank the Lord above for finally connecting me with a knowledgeable doctor who actually cares), I decided to test the job market waters.  I actually had an interview shortly after I applied to a company.

It is at this point in my blog I would like to take a small "commercial" break and bring you this public service announcement.  If you are going to bring someone in for an interview and have them drive 25 miles for said interview (50 miles round trip plus tolls), that's really no small thing.  If you are going to ask them back for two more interviews that same week (now 150 miles and triple tolls) that's a big thing. If you tell the interviewee that you will have a decision that next week, do not make them email you twice over the next three weeks asking for an update to simply reply with a form email telling them thanks but no thanks.  That is not the level of customer service I know for a fact you ask of your employees.  If you tried this on one of your clients, you would surely be fired.  Remember, what goes around comes around.  And now back to our blog...

So here is my dilemma:   Do I continue to test the job market waters?  Do I have faith that my business will continue to grow and just tough it out?  I have been helping my friend two days a week at her antique shop, which I enjoy.  I get to play with antiques and it gets me out of the house (and away from the Feline Union that likes to shake me down for kitty treats).  It's a nice "part time" job and I'm thankful for it.  However at times it makes me yearn for the days where I sat behind a desk and played Corporate Barbie.

At the end of the day, all these variables, all the positives and all the negatives don't point in one direction, which leads me to feel like I'm standing in the middle of the road wondering which way to go.  Lacking clear direction is outside my comfort zone (just ask my Garmin).  What are your thoughts on my current situation, Dear Reader?

Until Tomorrow - Melissa

Land of the Pampered, Home of the Entitled

I love America. I'm proud to be an American.  I am proud of how my ancestors helped shape this country and made it into the great nation it is.  I love hearing the family histories of how my ancestors came here as French Huguenots fleeing religious persecution, or how some came over as indentured servants.  My great great grandma Ida and her husband Wray were some of the first settlers in Kearney County, Nebraska.  Their first house was a sod house (aka soddy) and Grandma Ida was the post mistress and ran it out of said soddy.

Example of a sod house

I imagine how hard life must have been for my ancestors, settling this new land. Most everything had to be made by hand. There was no Wal-Mart to run to. In fact, to get anywhere, you had to go by wagon, hitching up the horses in preparation; there was no hopping into your car to run to Wal-Mart.  Meals were made from scratch; there were no such things as pre-sliced bread or a microwave oven.  Fields had to be turned with an ox or horse hooked up to a plow.

Think about it, no TV, no radio, no internet, no cell phones.  Want to communicate with someone across the country quickly? In the days before telephone and telegraph, there was Pony Express.  It only took 10 days.  It only cost $0.25 for a 1/2 ounce.  A quarter might not seem like much today, but keep in mind the average laborers' wage without board was $0.90 per day and one could buy an acre of land for between three and five dollars.

Pony Express poster. Wonder why they preferred orphans...

When I think about all the hardships my ancestors went through settling this country, I have to wonder what they would think if they could see how we live today.  I think they would marvel at the speed at which we can travel and communicate.  I think everyday appliances such as a refrigerator, microwave, and washing machine would seem like wonderous inventions.

What would they think about our society?  Would they see us an advanced Utopian society?  Or would they see us as lazy, whiny cry babies?  Would they shake their heads in disbelief at how "hard" we work?  Would they be shocked at what we expect our government to do for us? Would they still see us as the land of the free and the home of the brave, or would they see us as the land of the pampered and the home of the entitled?

Just a few random thoughts to ponder...
Until Tomorrow
Melissa

Gentle Reminders

Dear Reader, I was on Pinterest (shocking, yes I know) recently when I ran across a pin.  I will share it with you below.

This was one of those pins that makes one stop and think.  My first reaction was DUH!  But upon further reflection, I believe everyone of us does need a gentle reminder of proper etiquette from time to time.  I especially like number nine on the list, as I wrote a blog back in January on this topic (Catch up here).

I think our society as a whole needs a "gentle" reminder of everything on this list (although some might need a more forceful reminder, say being whacked over the head).  Our society needs to remember to respect oneself and to respect other.  Be polite and courteous never go out of style.

With that in mind, I'd like to encourage today's girls, our societies future women to consider

Those are my random thoughts for today.

Until Tomorrow - Melissa

Sunday Superhero

A couple of weeks ago, I challenged my readers to become the change they want to see ( Catch up here).  Last Sunday, I introduced my first Sunday Superhero (Julia's story here).  I am always on the look out for people who are doing good things in their community and aren't getting the pat on the back or the high five they deserve (that is a hint to send me nominations!).

Earlier this week I saw a post about 90's TV shows.  There were multiple comments about how "wholesome" TV was in the 90's and how they wished shows like that were still on.  I agree that there is a lot of trash on TV these days.  I wonder, how do we best CHANGE the situation? Do we complain on internet message boards or do we turn the dial and not watch?

I see a lot of complaining about our society, but I see very little action.  It made me think of a quote by Edmund Burke "All that's necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing."  I don't know about you, but I don't want evil to win.  So the question is, how do we compel good men into action?

First, we must give good men the courage to stand against evil.  It is never easy to the right thing when it is unpopular.  Even in extreme circumstances, it is within the human soul to find courage.  Consider the picture below

History does not record who this brave soul is.  It doesn't record what happened to him because of his defiance.  It would have been much easier for this gentlemen to salute than to stand with his arms crossed.  This man had the courage to stand against one of the greatest evils this world has seen.  It is for this courage, I am naming him this weeks Sunday Superhero. 

When the time comes, will you have the courage to stand against evil?  Or will you go with crowd and do nothing?  Remember, change begins with you. You have to become the change you want to see.

Until Tomorrow - Melissa 

It's A Small World Afterall

We live on the third rock from the sun.  It is estimated that there are seven billion people inhabiting said rock.  It never ceases to amaze me how small the world has become because of the internet and social media.

Consider this: It used to take four weeks (best case scenario) to cross the Atlantic from Europe to the American colonies during colonial times.  The journey was by no means a snap.  Transatlantic crossings were a dangerous enterprise.  There was no guarantee that you would survive journey either because of disease or ship wreck.  While I watched the HBO John Adams miniseries a few months ago, I marveled at the courage Abigail Adams possessed when she let her eldest son travel with John to Europe during the Revolutionary War.  Can you imagine having to wait for eight weeks or more to receive word that your husband and son had arrived safely?

In the summer of 1994 I spent a month in Spain.  At that time it took 10 days to get a letter from upstate New York to Spain.  My mother started to write me letters before I even left the States!  We were to immerse ourselves in the culture and not call home.  When we arrived safely in Madrid my Spanish teacher placed a call home to the designated person (who was in charge of the parental phone tree) to let them know we had made it safely.  We spent three days touring Madrid before we were sent to our host families.  I was in country four days before I had a chance to write a letter home and let my family know how my trip was going.  Add to that the 10 day air mail (considerably faster than the majority of the alternatives at that point) time, and it was two weeks before my mother heard from me.

Here we are in 2012 and social media is not new.  However, I still marvel at the people I am instantly in touch with daily around the world.  I have tweeps (people I communicate with on Twitter) in England, Australia, and most recently Denmark.  Instant communication (140 characters or less in the case of Twitter) with people around the globe!  This is not to mention all the tweeps I tweet with from New York to California, plus a few Canadian neighbors to the north.  We tend to take this instant communication technology for granted.

Today as I was tweeting with my latest tweep from Denmark, I stopped to think about how incredible that feat truly is.  My mind was blown.  What we communicated in a matter of seconds would have taken at least eight weeks 250 years ago.  In the course of human history, 250 years is not a lot of time.  It makes me wonder where we will go in the next 250.

Until Tomorrow - Melissa

Think On These Things...

I received a text tonight from my mother who was flipping through channels and ran across a story of a 32 year old young "man" (and I use the term loosely. dog and/or man whore I think is more apt) who had already fathered 30 children with 11 different women.  A number of thoughts came to mind based on this information.  I have to wonder how this "man" is still alive.  You know with 11 women, there has to be some lying and or cheating going on, which I would be lead to believe at least one woman has been wronged.  You know the saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".

After one thinks through the freak show nature of this "news", I think about the current state of TV and the so called "news".  Admittedly, I don't watch a lot of TV.  I find most of it is not worth watching and therefore does no deserve my precious time (and time is precious, you can never make more).  I am disgusted by the train wrecks known as reality TV.  I don't know about you, but I live in reality.  I don't need to watch it on TV.  If I want reality, I live my life.  If I watch TV, I need it to be entertaining.  Entertainment to me is something funny (Big Bang Theory), something fantastic ( Star Trek) or a good drama (NCIS, Downton Abbey).  I will also watch if the show is uplifting (Undercover Boss).  You don't even want to get me started on the sad state of affairs the "news" is.

I don't understand why we give our time to the freak shows, to trash , to people behaving badly (the proceeding statement is rhetorical, I know it's about ratings).  We don't get time back, why are we squandering it on the lowest common denominator?  Why do we allow network executives to convince us this is entertaining?  You have control over what's on TV.  If no one watches, the network executives will put something else on.

Why isn't the hard working mom or dad who works all day and then comes home to actually parent (spend time with, read to, etc.) their children on TV?  Why isn't the young neighbor who helps the elderly neighbor on TV?  Why isn't the person who aids a stranger in a moment of distress on TV?  I will tell you why.  These activities are "boring" and "normal" (although I'm not so sure about the normal anymore).  I wonder what would happen if our society started to give attention to every day heroes instead of societal fringe.  Why do we reward bad behavior with attention?

Let me share with you piece of information I learned as a child.  "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." That is Philippians 4:8 (NLT)  Regardless of you religious stance, I do not believe Philippians 4:8 is anything but good advice.  What would this world be like if everyone of us focused on the positive?  What would happen if we encouraged each other and praised the every day heroes?  I believe this world would be a much better place.  

Mahatma Gandhi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.”  Gandhi is right, I have to be the change I want to see.  Will you join me?  Think on these things...

Until Tomorrow - Melissa

Barbie Had It Right

Back in the 80’s, when I was a child, Barbie’s slogan was “We girls can do anything, right Barbie?” Now Mattel (Barbie’s maker) didn’t need this catchy slogan to reel me in.  Mattel had me with my first Skipper (Barbie’s little sister) doll.  I could write a whole blog on how every birthday, Christmas, Easter, and any spare pocket change went to the acquisition of all things Barbie (hang on, let me make a note of that for my blog topics list…and done).  However, that is not today’s topic.

While searching for cool pins on Pinterest this evening, I ran across a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt which said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  This is not the first time I’ve seen this quote.  In actuality, it has been a favorite of mine since high school.  However, for the first time, thoughts of Mrs. Roosevelt and Miss Roberts (for those who don’t know, Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts See here) came together in my head.

I’ve always had a strong sense of self-worth.  I had my share of being picked on in school, and while it was sometimes quite hurtful, it never made me feel inferior.  Do I attribute this to playing with Barbies?  No, I attribute this to having a loving family with great examples of strong women (not many people can say their grandmother was in the Navy during WWII).  I also knew that school was a temporary situation and not to let people get under my skin.

In the past decade or so, Barbie has become a controversial figure to some.  Her “unrealistic” proportions have some people up in arms.  To them, Barbie’s ample curves and svelte limbs represent the “perfect female form”, something that will cause little girls to succumb to eating disorders and plastic surgery in their pursuit of this look.  I’ve never quite understood this.  Barbie is a doll, which means she is a toy.  Children use their imaginations to play with said toy.  I don’t recall people being up in arms because Cabbage Patch Dolls have weird noses or signatures on their rear ends.  I don’t remember anyone rallying against He-Man and the Masters of the Universe for promoting rampant steroid abuse in the 6- to 12-year-old male demographic.

So keeping in mind that Barbie is a child’s toy, I believe her “can do anything” attitude is good for little girls.  Sure, most of the time Barbie is a teen-age model (so the original story goes).  However, Barbie has also been a doctor, a nurse, an astronaut, and a teacher.  She’s served in various branches of our military AND she’s been President.  With this feat, Barbie has achieved in make-believe what a real woman has yet to achieve (for a full list of Barbie’s careers see here).

I believe that if every girl or boy on the planet was told Mrs. Roosevelt’s wisdom in conjunction with Barbie’s can-do attitude, the personal heights these children could achieve would be limitless (unless they were studying calculus, where in fact there is a nasty little concept called a limit…but you get my point).  Isn’t that a powerful thought?

Until tomorrow - Melissa

The Ugly Side Of Pinterest

If you are female, dear reader, you know what I refer to if I say Pinterest.  If you are male and have a wife/girlfriend, you know Pinterest is you new BFF because your other half leaves you alone for HOURS at a time.  If your a single male, well, I don't think explaining what Pinterest will help you, but I digress.

I'm a huge, HUGE fan of Pinterest.  Tons of funny sarcastic photos, plenty of funny cat photos and tons of great ideas.  There are also pins that don't interest me, so I basically ignore them (mainly the wedding ones, I'm already married and the pregnancy/nursery pins.  I already have children, they shed, and say things like woof and meow).  There is also those fitness motivation diet pins that I also ignore. Typically.  Tonight I found one that irked me.

 There it is.  The offending pin.  It's a super skinny chick.  What really ruffled my feather is the first tag on it was #sexy.  Um, compared to what? This?

Okay, first image wins.  But seriously.  Don't our young ladies have enough to contend with?  Heck, even us middle age women have enough to contend with in our society.  I am so sick and tired of advertisers, media, Hollywood and everyone else telling me what is beautiful.  I believe every female on this planet is beautiful, because we are individuals.  There is no one else on the planet like you!

Think about it.  People pay BIG bucks for the rare, the unique.  If people are willing to pay millions of dollars for an object, because there are only four (or whatever) known in existence, why can't we learn the real value of the fellow man around us? I will tell you, because when it comes to real beauty, man is typically blind.

When I think about some of the most beautiful people I have ever known, I realize I find them beautiful for what they are, not what they look like.   These people are kind, smart, courageous, funny, generous, happy, joyful and content.  Think about some of the people that you love to hang out with.  Do they have some of the qualities I just listed? I bet they do.

To steal a page from Captain Kangaroo's book, Susan, you are beautiful, and so are you Jennifer, and you Emma, and you Beth, and you Sara, and you Ann and you (Dear Reader, insert your Name) and in case your neighbor didn't hear me, make sure to tell her to!

Until Tomorrow - Melissa

Lessons Learned At the Movies

Today, Dear Reader, I went to the movies.  This is a rare occurrence for a number of reasons.  One – I am cheap.  I would normally prefer to wait for a movie to come out on DVD to watch it.  Two – and this will come as no surprise to most, I have a very low tolerance for masses of people.

However, The Avengers came out yesterday.  I am a nerd, so this movie justified the spending of currency and dealing with a crowd.  As an aside, I would like to say that The Avengers was epic and you must go see it.  I do not want to spoil the movie magic for you, so I will say nothing further.

I did notice a few things about my fellow man today.  I wouldn’t say that I’ve learned anything “new” per se, but had my prior suspicions reinforced.  The first thing I noticed is humans, on the whole, are not the sharpest knives in the drawer.  If you go see a movie on the second day it’s out, odds are you’re a fan.  That being said, Marvel comic films have had additional scenes at the end of the credits for quite some time.  In fact, as of late it is not uncommon for films to have additional scenes after the credits roll.  Today, when the movie ended, I would say 1/3-1/2 of the theater got up and left.  Has previous experience not taught you there might be more movie coming?

The second thing I noticed was the amount of trash lying around the theater as I left.  Now I realize theater employees come through after the screening and clean up.  Just because they do this does not justify people acting like pigs.  You do not need to toss your popcorn all over the floor and leave trash everywhere.  No wonder TLC has no problem finding people to film for their hoarder show.  If this is how you act in public, I would hate to see your house. 

The third thing I noticed is what should be common courtesy must now be pointed out multiple times.  There were at least two instances before the movie started that the theater ran “commercials” for people to silence their cell phone and not to talk or text on their cell phone during the show.  These warnings did not stop my neighbor’s cell phone from ringing during the film, however.

Well, there you have it, my lessons learned from going to the movies.  I knew there was a reason I typically stay home.

Until Tomorrow - Melissa

The Wisdom of Margaret Thatcher

When I was a child, Ronald Reagan was President of the United States and his British counterpart was Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.  I don’t remember much about her (do elementary school children pay attention to the news?);  I just know she was a force to be reckoned with.  I recently ran across a quote of hers and I really liked it.  Margaret Thatcher said “Power is like being a lady... if you have to tell people you are, you aren't.”

While I understand Margaret is talking about being powerful, I like her comparison.  If you are a true lady, people know it; you don’t have to tell them.  I have been thinking lately (especially with the stories my husband, a high school science teacher, comes home with daily) “When did being a lady go out of style?”

If I think about “ladies” who have been in my life, the first example that comes to mind is my Grandma Mizell.   She had a grace and presence about her.  She was into big sparkly things.  I remember her wearing big fabulous rings and broaches.  She also had a lot of scarves.  She had this 1940’s movie star glamor about her.  She was always very proper.  I remember a summer (1993 I believe) when we were visiting.  My brother Mike and I were doing laundry.  I don’t recall if we were taking laundry out or bringing laundry in, but Mike asked me to take my DAMP jeans.  Grandma Dear misheard him and oh boy did Mike get a tongue lashing.  Grandma thought Mike had used a four letter word that starts with D and that was just unacceptable.  Of course she felt very sheepish when Mike could get a word in edgewise and explained to her that he said damp, as in wet.

When I think of a lady, I think of someone who is prim and proper.  Someone who is gracious and courteous.  A lady has an air of elegance about her that cannot be defined.  A lady dresses properly.  She does not have to show all kinds of skin to let people know she is attractive.  A lady uses proper language and has a decent vocabulary to get her point across.

My question is, when did being a lady go out of style?  I cringe when I go to the mall and see all the eight year old prost-i-tots.  I see teenagers who are showing more skin than not and acting like run-of-the-mill trollops.  I can’t quite pinpoint when it happened.  The Victorian ladies covered EVERYTHING.  It was completely improper to be seen publicly without wearing a corset.  Fashions relax a little with the Edwardian Era.  Hem lines were raised in the 20’s.  Women cut their hair short and flappers were the in thing.  Even with this relaxed fashion, you still had ladies, you still had standards. But over the decades the fashion continued to loosen and so did the standards.  Am I blaming fashion?   Heck no.  That’s like blaming gun violence on guns.  But I see a correlation.  It seems the looser acceptable fashion gets, the looser our standards get (which implies our morals or societal mores have changed).

Am I advocating we go back to the Victorian days where we all wear corsets and floor length skirts?  No, I am not (although I do think it would be super cool…some of the time).  What I am advocating is today’s young girls cover it up, leave something to the imagination.  Become ladies, in appearance and action.  It is not cool to have a baby daddy.  It is really not cool to have multiple baby daddies.  That just makes you stupid.  Get an education, make something of yourself.  Learn to be prim and proper, to be gracious and elegant, to have an air about you.  Be a person that your granddaughter will write about.  Be a lady, and remember, if you are one, you won’t have to tell a soul.

Until tomorrow - Melissa