Today Is What Matters.

A couple of days ago while on twitter I ran across a quote that really spoke to me.  Tonight I will share it with you.

"In the end, what we regret most are the chances we never took." - Frasier Crane

I’m a planner.  I was always planning something.  Something in the future.  It might be redoing a room in our house (I am desperately trying to make a 1983 suburban house look like a Victorian.  Hardy Har Har, Lowes is laughing all the way to the bank), or what jewelry skill I may work on next, or some future jewelry design.  It was always something.  This constant future planning made it so I was always living in tomorrow, not today.

But then I got sick.  My world changed.  At first I was still living in the future, but only looking forward to the next diagnostic test or next doctors appointment that might give me an answer.  At somepoint I realized that the answer to my medical mystery was not going to be readily available.  My focus then shifted to just getting through each day.  I could not bear to think about tomorrow, today was more than I could say grace over.

While I still do not like them limitations my illness has placed on me (I get very tired after little effort), I have come to accept them.  I have also figured out how to modify my life to get the most out of it.  From the standpoint of running of my business, this works out quite well.  However…I’m not satisfied with that.

I’ve also decided I’m going to live my life the way I want to.  I am going to do what makes me happy.  I love steampunk.  I’ve recently bought some Victorian/steampunk type hats.  I like to wear them.  So I will wear them to run errands.  Sure, I get stairs from strangers, but I no longer care.  I’m wearing what makes happy.  I do hope my outfit choices are classy enough not to land me on one of the people of Wal-Mart sites.  I guess if I do, so what.

I’ve also decided that working to the detriment of my friends and family is no longer acceptable.  I’m going to take time for the people I love.  I recently made a trip to my parents in upstate NY.  Soon I hope to visit my brother in North Carolina.  He’s been asking me to visit for awhile.  After that, who knows.

From here on out I am going to squeeze as much happiness and I can from each day.  I am going to look at the glass as being half full.  I am going to stop and smell the roses, when they bloom of course.  I am going to find the best in people and celebrate it.

I just hope I have figured it out in time.  I want to make sure in the end, I arrive laughing and cheering and say, Whoa!  Whatta ride!  It sure was fun.  And I want to make sure there isn’t a single regret.

Until Tomorrow - Melissa